Spas and Blackmail
by FallingforWerewolves
Summary: The girls drag the guys to a spa.  Nuff said.  Straight out Amian with implied Hamnead  because I love those two so much  and Ted complaining about being blind.  A lot.  Says Hamilton and Sinead for main characters, but has everyone in it.


**A/N: My friend (yes, the random one from the chat room fic) and I were once again being random and came up with this idea, so I elaborated on it, as usual.**

**Disclaimer: I own the randomness, but not the characters or spas.**

* * *

><p>"NO!"<p>

"I want to live to see fourteen!"

"There are so many things I haven't done yet that I want to do in life!"

"I can't even see where we're going!"

Heads were turning towards the shouts coming from the entrance of Greenwood Spa. Not many of them understood the scene before them, except for some of the staff who had been informed of this particular visit.

Amy Cahill was pulling on her thirteen year-old brother, Dan's, arm. She was trying to get him through the glass entry doors just like the other girls. Sinead managed to get one of her brothers, Ted, through the door. But that was mainly because he had no clue what was going on. Natalie was having a rough time in getting Ned, the other Starling brother, inside. Reagan, Madison, Jonah and Ian were all tugging on Hamilton, who had gotten a hold of the door post and was not planning on letting go any time soon.

"Why. Aren't. You. Two. Fighting?" Dan asked Ian and Jonah while fighting for freedom.

"Natalie used to drag me into spas all the time," Ian managed to grunt out. "I'm used to it."

"I need pampering time, yo!" Jonah wheezed, not having much luck.

"Remind me why we decided to trust the girls?" Hamilton said, losing no breath whatsoever as he resisted his sisters' efforts in prying his fingers from the door post.

"Hey!" Sinead snapped, now having trouble keeping a hold on Ted because he had discovered where they were. "We warned you that you probably wouldn't like it. But did you listen? No, you never do!"

"Shut up, Starling!"

"Sinead!" Ned called out, as Natalie dragged him limply across the floor, having immobilized him beneath the neck with some sort of injection. "As your brother I must ask, how could you?"

"Easy," Amy spatted through gritted teeth, still struggling with Dan. "I brought her here once and she fell in love. Now she always wants to come here."

"Who did she fall in love with?" Madison asked as she and Reagan finally managed to loosen their brother's hold on the outside world. They then began pushing him while Ian and Jonah pulled.

Natalie rolled her eyes. "She fell in love with the spa, Dolt."

"Hate to break it to you, Sinead, but you can't marry a spa," Reagan called out, sweat beginning to grease her brow.

Now it was Ian's turn to roll his eyes. "No, Sinead had everything planned out and you just ruined her special day."

"Good thing we did," Madison, joining in on the joke. "After all that would mean that Reagan and I would have to listen to-"

"I GIVE UP!" Hamilton yelled, throwing his hands up in the air, causing Jonah and Ian to fall to the floor.

Dan stared in disbelief. "DUDE! How can you give up?"

"Knew it would work," claimed Reagan as she and Madison high-fived.

"Knew what would work?" asked Sinead, confused for maybe the first time in her life.

"Not important," Hamilton said through gritted teeth while shooting the Holt glare at his twin sisters.

Jonah was brushing imaginary dust off of his shirt while he looked around. Then he saw the bowl of chocolates.

"Candy!" he yelled rushing over.

Natalie was surprised that they hadn't been kicked out yet.

"I never had candy as a child," Ian said more to himself than anyone else. "No, that's not true. I did get a lollipop once. I don't think I used it the right way."

"What did you do to the lollipop Ian?" Dan curiously asked.

A moment of silence.

"Moving on," Ian said clapping his hands together to try and get Jonah's attention, for he had fully given his attention to the bowl of chocolates.

"What are we doing first?" Amy asked.

Natalie, queen of all that is girly and evil, smirked. Almost everyone cowered.

"Oh," she said in a low dangerous tone, "I have a great idea."

* * *

><p>"IT BURNS!"<p>

"How can you girls stand this?"

"Natalie, you're totally evil!"

"For once in my life, I don't want to see what it looks like!"

Ian looked over at Jonah. "Wimps," they both muttered.

"Guys," Amy sighed. "Calm down, it's just a hot tub."

"Hence the burning!" Hamilton bellowed.

"And you're sure he's a Tomas?" Sinead mummbled under her breath as she closed her eyes in impatience.

"I heard that!"

Natalie gleefully watched the boys squirm. It was fun to set them off the edge. True, she probably enjoyed it too much for her own good. Dan was shooting evil looks at all of the girls (and Ian and Jonah). Oh, they were so going to pay for making him suffer through this.

"I'm afraid to ask what you're going to make us do next," Ned commented, calculating whether or not his skin would be burned from the water he was currently stuck in.

"Well," Natalie began in a tone that meant something horrible, "since I chose earlier, how about we let Sinead decide?"

Sinead smirked as the idea came to her.

"She's smirking, isn't she?" Ted asked. Even though he couldn't see, he knew his sister well.

"I'm guessing that's a bad thing," Hamilton observed.

Ned turned to him with a serious look on his face.

"Be afraid. Be very afraid."

* * *

><p>"How could you do this to us?"<p>

"Man, that kills!"

"BEING AFRAID DID NOT HELP!"

"This hurts more than ninja training!"

Ian turned to Jonah. "The sweet sounds of waxing."

"Or screams of terror," Jonah added.

"As you Americans say, same diff."

"You are positively evil, Sinead," Hamilton commented.

"I try," she replied.

"You may say that she's positively evil," Ted began.

"But you have no idea," Ned finished.

Making the boys get waxed was such a deliciously devious idea that Natalie was jealous that she hadn't come up with it first. But her mind had been, and still was, otherwise occupied. She was thinking of ways to get the Holt twins to spill what blackmail they were using on their brother. It was the only way he agreed to anything it seemed. Natalie was determined to find out what it was. After all, she loved some good blackmail.

Dan turned to Ian and Jonah, who weren't being submitted to this particular torture, but sitting in some lounge chairs.

"Why aren't you making them do this?" Dan demanded while gesturing to the Lucian and the Janus.

Madison rolled her eyes. "Like they said earlier, they're used to it."

"Yeah," Reagan agreed. "Besides this is for torturing purposes only. Since they're used to it, they wouldn't scream in agony."

"Here's some advice," Ted announced breathly, because he was still getting over the stinging sensation on his legs. "Let's not blindly trust the girls again. And before you ask, pun definitly intended."

Amy snapped her fingers. "That gives me an idea!"

"Oh no," Dan groaned.

* * *

><p>"Why can't I see anything?"<p>

"It's darker than Natalie's soul!"

"Why are... whatever these things are so cold?"

"Now you all know how I feel!"

"It's rather depressing to think that these are the next generation of great Cahills," Ian commented.

"True that," Jonah agreed.

Dan, who had earned a slap on the arm for the "darker than Natalie's soul" comment, fidgited in his chair. "Remind me why I have cucumbers on my eyes."

"Because we told you too," Madison and Reagan both replied.

"I am this close to leaving," Hamilton muttered threatingly.

"Watch it, Tomas," Natalie snapped. "I know your secret."

"Reagan, Madison, I am going to kill you as soon as I can see again."

"We didn't tell her," Reagan said.

"We just dropped some hints and she figured it out on her own in, like, five seconds," Madison added.

"What is this secret you keep mentioning?" Sinead asked.

The Holt twins looked at each other. "Can't tell you."

"Why?" Ned asked with the cucumber slices still over his eyes. "You basically told Natalie."

Madison and Reagan shared a look and then seemingly decided on something.

"Here's a hint," Madison began.

"You're part of it," Reagan concluded.

Ian and Amy both, unknowingly, began praying that it was not love drama. There had been enough of that a few months ago when they had officially gotten together. They did not want to deal with any of that with the likes of Sinead Starling and Hamilton Holt.

Sinead's eyes widened. Then she turned to Hamilton, who couldn't see her, but swore he could feel her staring at him.

"If you told them already then why am I keeping it a secret?" she asked almost hysterically. The others... or, well, the girls watched on in intrest while the boys listened in confusion because they still had no idea what was going on.

"If they know about it, I certainly didn't tell them," Hamilton protested.

Hamilton's sisters now looked confused. "You already know Hamilton likes you?" they asked in perfect sync.

Silence.

Sinead rolled her eyes. "Duh. I knew about it before you did. He's way too obvious about those things. And it isn't your blackmail that's keeping him here."

"Is anyone else extremely confused right now?" Dan asked, earning a lot of yeahs, yes' and yups in reply.

"Hey," Hamilton said, sitting up and taking the cucumber off of his eyes and blinking a few times to get used to seeing again. "I've been good. I've gone along with everything willingly." He got "the look" (you all know the one) here. "Okay, semi-willingly, but that still doesn't give you the right to tell the world right now."

"Guys," Jonah interrupted. "Please cut down on the love drama. Some of us are trying to relax here!"

Sinead sighed and turned to Reagan and Madison. "You two get to choose the last stop."

* * *

><p>"This isn't half bad."<p>

"I could get used to this."

"This must be the secret to mythical powers."

"Why didn't you guys drag us to this before?"

Ian rolled his eyes. "It's always the massage."

Jonah nodded, or as much as he could nod with him face down on a massage table.

"We decided to be nice," Reagan announced.

"That," Maddison interrupted, "and the fact that we couldn't think of anything else."

"Thank God for that," Dan muttered.

* * *

><p>At the end of quite a hectic day for the staff the Cahill family departed from the premisise much to the staff sanity's liking.<p>

"Come on guys," Amy said, looking over her shoulder at the rest of them, her hand in Ian's. "Today wasn't that bad."

Dan rolled his eyes. "You girls, no offence Jonah, are used to it."

"Pardon me, _Daniel_," Ian spat venemlously, "but if I'm not mistaken you just called me a girl."

"I didn't say that."

"No, but you implied it!"

Sinead and Natalie rolled their eyes.

"By the way," Natalie whispered to Sinead, "what did you threaten Hamilton with today?"

Sinead shrugged. "That I'd tell everyone something that he wants to keep secret for as long as possible."

"What's that?" Natalie asked intrigued.

Sinead thought for a moment. "I'll give you a hint." And with that, she walked up to Hamilton and took his hand, leaving behind a shocked Natalie.

Ned noticed as well. "There's something you don't see everyday," he commented to his twin.

Ted gave him the look (which he could still do even though he couldn't see where he was directing it).

"You do know that you're talking to me, right?"

* * *

><p><strong>There you have it! I've just noticed that I can't seem to write almost anything related to the 39 Clues without including Hamnead. Or Amian, for that matter. Hope you laughed a bit!<strong>

**Review. If you want to, of course. I'm not going to beg you for reviews like a lot of the people on here. But it'd be nice to know what you think of it.**


End file.
